Tagged boundaries

femmes say no

Hawthorn Heart – Femme Boundary Workshop

Make no mistake dear ones: learning how to say no as a femme, that shit is a radical act.

Learning how to set boundaries can be a raw, challenging, revealing and healing process. This workshop is for witches and femmes – magical creatures that we are. It’s a space where we can sit together, breathe, listen and validate. A space where we can practice consent based, well boundaried support and skill sharing. It’s a space where we can own our shit and take care of ourselves – and if we like – each other. Here we will share practical skills but we’ll also share magical and herbal tools to help us bolster our boundary setting tool boxes.

You can sign up for this workshop by sending an email with the subject line BOUNDARIES to andi@andigracewrites.com

from Evolver Social Network
from Evolver Social Network

Boundaries are the bedrock of healthy, sustainable and nourishing relationships. Often we conceive of boundaries as a tool to push people away, which they sometimes can be, but boundaries can also be a tool for deep intimacy. Boundaries work to keep us safe and also to foster clear communication and mutual support.  Boundaries are profoundly anti-opppressive because the teach us to nurture and respect self preservation (in ourselves and others) in the face of constant demands on our bodies, minds and spirits.

Boundaries are survival skills.

And sometimes they can be confusing to set. They often require sacrifice, sitting in our triggers, and challenging old and tired scripts inherited from people in our lives who have taken from us without our consent. There is no such thing as a perfect boundary, but it is possible to set boundaries that are clear, effective and consensually negotiated.

from Yeah Thats What She Said's facebook.
from Yeah Thats What She Said’s facebook.

This workshop will happen both in-person and online. Here are the details…

East Van Coast Salish Territory
The Toast 648 E Kingsway
Monday September 19th 6 – 9 pm
One session for a $30 – $90 sliding scale – payment plans, work trade (for anyone who needs them) and scholarships (for BIPOC folk) are available.

The Toast has a ramp and there is a wheelchair accessible bathroom near by at Matchstick. You can see more details of the space here.

This workshop will be a scent reduced space. Meaning participants are required to not wear scented body care products (including essential oils) and to not wear clothes that have been washed with scented laundry detergent. This requirement is extremely important and contributes profoundly to the access abilities of others in the space.

This workshop is limited to 15 participants.

Tuition includes a ‘break borders not boundaries’ patch from fruit fly distro and a yarrow hawthorn elixir for heart protection and strong boundaries.

@jona_shoe on instagram

Online Workshop Series
Wednesday September 28th and October 5th 6 – 9 pm PST on Zoom.
2 sessions for a $50 – $150 sliding scale – payment plans, work trade (for anyone who needs them) and scholarships (for BIPOC folk) are available.
25% discount available for participants who share screens.

This workshop is limited to 20 screens.

Tuition includes a patch from fruit fly distro and a yarrow hawthorn elixir for heart protection and strong boundaries. *shipping of your package is not included in tuition*.

You can sign up for this workshop by sending an email with the subject line BOUNDARIES to andi@andigracewrites.com


stop romantacizing people who hurt you

I Believe You: A Zine for Femmes Surviving Toxic Masculinity

This zine is for all the femmes carrying wounds from masculine folks who didn’t treat us right. It’s for all of us tending, surviving, healing and grieving. I know the work of tending our fierce hearts is fucking hard and exhausting. I know they will never see even a fraction of our struggle or our brilliance, let alone own up to their part in causing all this pain.

Know that I’m with you. I got you. I feel it too.
I believe you.

vulnerability is a radical act

I’m looking for submissions from femmes that both tell our stories and also share strategies for healing, justice and resilience. I’m partial to poetry, short stories, spells, hexes, tarot, recipes, plant allies and visual art – but i’ll review submissions of any genre.

Please send your submissions here.


from the body is not an apology.
from the body is not an apology.


Because I want to encourage participation of BIPOC voices I’m both going to prioritize those submissions and I’m offering herbal gifts to any BIPOC folks who submit. If you’re BIPOC please include a few ideas for areas you could use herbal support with, in your submission.

If you’d like to learn more about my work you can check out the rest of my site my column on Little Red Tarot, and my Etsy the Witch’s Cabinet.

You can follow this event on facebook here.

hawthornAnd hey femmes – do you wanna learn some skills to set effective and clear boundaries? Skills that are practical, magical, nestled in community and connected with plant allies? then I’d suggest checking out my upcoming workshop Hawthorn Heart. This workshop will take place in person in East Van (unceded coast salish territory) on September 19th and online on September 28th and October 5th.

This type of community organizing and resource creation is my full time work, on top of growing food, brewing herbal potions and doing loads of emotional labour and reproductive justice work. If you believe in acknowledging femmes for our endless labour and want to support this femme to continue their work in the world you can donate monthly by clicking here.


Radio Interview: Boundaries

Last week I was interviewed on Gender Trouble CFUV.

I talked about boundaries: why they are important, how to set them, who my teachers have been, as well as plant and magical allies I work with.

You can listen to the interview here.

If you want to connect with the teachers I mention you can connect with Pavini here and Safeteen here.

If you’re interested in learning more about plant allies you can book an herbal consultation with me by emailing me at andi(@)andigracewrites(.)com.

If you’re interested in booking a tarot reading, a tool I have found immensely helpful to work with in setting boundaries. You can book a tarot card reading with me here.

The gorgeous image for this interview comes from Auberon Wolf. You can see more of their work on their site here.

If you would like to share your art work as feature images on my site, check out this artists call out.


Women and Femmes Assertiveness Workshop: Nelson

do you want to learn skills to speak your truth and be heard?

do you ever feel confused about the difference between being “needy” or “a bitch” and having necessary boundaries?

then i invite you to join us for the assertiveness workshop at the Nelson’s Women’s Center on Feb 6th from 12 – 3.

no pre-registration is required though you’re welcome to send me an email to andi[@]andigracewrites.com if you have questions or want to let me know that you’re coming. you can list yourself as attending on the facebook event as well. <3

setting boundaries is a challenging, life saving and drama-reducing skill set, especially for women and femme identified people of any gender – many of whom often struggle to simply and clearly say “no”. this workshop will take you through a series of exercises to help you better understand and articulate your boundaries, both with your loved ones and those who seek to violate you.

i’ve chosen the wild rose as the images for this workshop because i believe this plant carries a valuable medicine when it comes to boundaries and protection. roses can only be as soft, loving and gentle as they are because they have thorns to protect them. boundaries allow for vulnerability and can help facilitate connection and well being. in this learning space we will work with this medicine, as well as with yarrow flowers, as we move through the tenuous and powerful skill of gracefully, lovingly and fiercely setting boundaries. 

this workshop is open to all folks who identify as women or femmes.

the cost is $10 to $20 sliding scale with no-one turned away for lack of funds. folks with greater financial access are encouraged to donate generously, to facilitate the participation of those without financial access. i’m also very open to trades for food and medicine making supplies. ultimately it’s more important to me that folks take part in the work, than i get paid by each participant. that being said, i do need some cash to flow towards this work, in order to keep it sustainable. ♥

i come to this work after years of learning how to set boundaries. boundaries are a skillset i am always learning, adjusting and growing. i’m not an expert, but i have taught assertiveness workshop in hundreds of school across the lower mainland with Anita Robert’s Safeteen program. i also recently took part in Pavini Moray’s boundary class for queer and lesbian couples. this workshop is inspired by both of these teachers, various plant allies, as well as a unique mix of my own learnings and facilitation offerings.