From femme

femmes say no

Hawthorn Heart – Femme Boundary Workshop

Make no mistake dear ones: learning how to say no as a femme, that shit is a radical act.

Learning how to set boundaries can be a raw, challenging, revealing and healing process. This workshop is for witches and femmes – magical creatures that we are. It’s a space where we can sit together, breathe, listen and validate. A space where we can practice consent based, well boundaried support and skill sharing. It’s a space where we can own our shit and take care of ourselves – and if we like – each other. Here we will share practical skills but we’ll also share magical and herbal tools to help us bolster our boundary setting tool boxes.

You can sign up for this workshop by sending an email with the subject line BOUNDARIES to andi@andigracewrites.com

from Evolver Social Network
from Evolver Social Network

Boundaries are the bedrock of healthy, sustainable and nourishing relationships. Often we conceive of boundaries as a tool to push people away, which they sometimes can be, but boundaries can also be a tool for deep intimacy. Boundaries work to keep us safe and also to foster clear communication and mutual support.  Boundaries are profoundly anti-opppressive because the teach us to nurture and respect self preservation (in ourselves and others) in the face of constant demands on our bodies, minds and spirits.

Boundaries are survival skills.

And sometimes they can be confusing to set. They often require sacrifice, sitting in our triggers, and challenging old and tired scripts inherited from people in our lives who have taken from us without our consent. There is no such thing as a perfect boundary, but it is possible to set boundaries that are clear, effective and consensually negotiated.

from Yeah Thats What She Said's facebook.
from Yeah Thats What She Said’s facebook.

This workshop will happen both in-person and online. Here are the details…

East Van Coast Salish Territory
The Toast 648 E Kingsway
Monday September 19th 6 – 9 pm
One session for a $30 – $90 sliding scale – payment plans, work trade (for anyone who needs them) and scholarships (for BIPOC folk) are available.

The Toast has a ramp and there is a wheelchair accessible bathroom near by at Matchstick. You can see more details of the space here.

This workshop will be a scent reduced space. Meaning participants are required to not wear scented body care products (including essential oils) and to not wear clothes that have been washed with scented laundry detergent. This requirement is extremely important and contributes profoundly to the access abilities of others in the space.

This workshop is limited to 15 participants.

Tuition includes a ‘break borders not boundaries’ patch from fruit fly distro and a yarrow hawthorn elixir for heart protection and strong boundaries.

@jona_shoe on instagram

Online Workshop Series
Wednesday September 28th and October 5th 6 – 9 pm PST on Zoom.
2 sessions for a $50 – $150 sliding scale – payment plans, work trade (for anyone who needs them) and scholarships (for BIPOC folk) are available.
25% discount available for participants who share screens.

This workshop is limited to 20 screens.

Tuition includes a patch from fruit fly distro and a yarrow hawthorn elixir for heart protection and strong boundaries. *shipping of your package is not included in tuition*.

You can sign up for this workshop by sending an email with the subject line BOUNDARIES to andi@andigracewrites.com

 

stop romantacizing people who hurt you

I Believe You: A Zine for Femmes Surviving Toxic Masculinity

This zine is for all the femmes carrying wounds from masculine folks who didn’t treat us right. It’s for all of us tending, surviving, healing and grieving. I know the work of tending our fierce hearts is fucking hard and exhausting. I know they will never see even a fraction of our struggle or our brilliance, let alone own up to their part in causing all this pain.

Know that I’m with you. I got you. I feel it too.
I believe you.

vulnerability is a radical act

I’m looking for submissions from femmes that both tell our stories and also share strategies for healing, justice and resilience. I’m partial to poetry, short stories, spells, hexes, tarot, recipes, plant allies and visual art – but i’ll review submissions of any genre.

Please send your submissions here.

 

from the body is not an apology.
from the body is not an apology.

 

Because I want to encourage participation of BIPOC voices I’m both going to prioritize those submissions and I’m offering herbal gifts to any BIPOC folks who submit. If you’re BIPOC please include a few ideas for areas you could use herbal support with, in your submission.

If you’d like to learn more about my work you can check out the rest of my site my column on Little Red Tarot, and my Etsy the Witch’s Cabinet.

You can follow this event on facebook here.

hawthornAnd hey femmes – do you wanna learn some skills to set effective and clear boundaries? Skills that are practical, magical, nestled in community and connected with plant allies? then I’d suggest checking out my upcoming workshop Hawthorn Heart. This workshop will take place in person in East Van (unceded coast salish territory) on September 19th and online on September 28th and October 5th.


This type of community organizing and resource creation is my full time work, on top of growing food, brewing herbal potions and doing loads of emotional labour and reproductive justice work. If you believe in acknowledging femmes for our endless labour and want to support this femme to continue their work in the world you can donate monthly by clicking here.

out with the old

support the survival of radical witchcraft

friends,

i’m calling on your support to help me through a huge transition.
i need you to help keep the magic i make alive.

in the past few weeks a lot has been going on for me. i’ve done hours of emotional and supportive labour working harm reduction. this work saves lives, and it also left me with a wicked lung infection. while i was away doing this work someone in my family was placed in a drug induced coma after sustaining a brain injury very similar to my little brother’s – which happened 7 years ago. understandably this has brought up waves of re-emerging grief and trauma for me. tomorrow i’m heading back to vancouver (coast salish territory) to support my family – to cook and clean and kitchen witch them as best as my tender heart can manage.

there’s alot going on. and that’s not all.

after my most recent courting pennyroyal workshop my apothecary was reported to the government. i can’t be 100% sure who did this as the report is anonymous, but while i was in vancouver i was receiving threats from someone, telling me they would shut me down. this person feels very strongly that my work shouldn’t exist. they feel that what i do hurts women. all of this coincided with the painful end of a long standing relationship with someone who refused to have my back through this onslaught.

it wasn’t easy and my heart is still hurting.

these allegations were deeply painful to receive and i believe they are untrue.

those of you who are friends with me, who follow my work, eat the food i make, have been soothed by the remedies i make -you know that the goal of my work is to fight oppression and facilitate deep healing. i do what i do to love others, not to harm them.

as a result of my apothecary being reported i’ve agreed to take my hand-made, hand-harvested pennyroyal and black cohosh tinctures off my etsy. i also have to stop selling my bugspray and sunscreen by october 31st. i’ve been asked not to make or sell any of these things in future. its unclear at this point if i have to shut down my public apothecary entirely in order to comply with being reported in this way. it’s also unclear to me if i will choose to comply, but for now i am stepping back to ground and create a new long-term strategy.

i need time to research and re-group. i need time to bolster myself for potential recurring lateral violence.

in the brilliant words of my teacher and friend rain crowe, “the burning times never ended”.

the person who reported my apothecary is using the power and violence of the state as leverage against me. obviously when this happens to people with less privilege than me the consequences are more dire. i will always aim to center that reality in my work. and right now, that pressure and coercion is coming down on me, my work, my family, my home.

the work i do as a public witch is being threatened for fear of liberation.
crushed for fear of interdependence.
pushed back against for fear of community reliance.

what i do – what we do – scares people. what i am learning is that when you become a threat your power is leveraged against you.  the person who reported me. the state. they want to take my power away.  and there is absolutely no way i will ever let them do that.

part of how i’m weathering this next period is by asking for help.
if you believe in my work.
if my words or medicine have supported you in some way.
if you believe in femme magic.

then you can support me in the following ways:

1) become a donor to my site. donations happen monthly and range from $3 – $20/month. if you’d like to make a one-time donation you can send it to me at this email address through e-transfer or paypal. and if you’d like to make a larger regular donation you can email me back and we can arrange that.

2) buy something from my apothecary. because i need to sell all of my remaining sunscreen and bugspray by october 31st i am selling the final bottles and jars at a sliding scale. no reasonable or generous offer will be refused. keep in mind there are only about 20 bottles of sunscreen and bugspray left so you’ll wanna get them before they run out. you can order them on my etsy or message me back to this email.

 

3) book a tarot card reading with me. 50% of my readings will still be donated to #blacklivesmatter. let’s spread the love and support around <3.

4) send me words of support. give me consensual hugs. and most of all, don’t let what’s happening to me scare you from being brave, bold or fearless with your magic. the best thing you can do to support me is keep making, creating, loving and pushing back against injustice.

let’s keep our hearts fed so we can keep fighting and more importantly, keep loving.

from my tender and fierce heart to yours,

a

Wild_rose_flower

Women and Femmes Assertiveness Workshop: Nelson

do you want to learn skills to speak your truth and be heard?

do you ever feel confused about the difference between being “needy” or “a bitch” and having necessary boundaries?

then i invite you to join us for the assertiveness workshop at the Nelson’s Women’s Center on Feb 6th from 12 – 3.

no pre-registration is required though you’re welcome to send me an email to andi[@]andigracewrites.com if you have questions or want to let me know that you’re coming. you can list yourself as attending on the facebook event as well. <3

setting boundaries is a challenging, life saving and drama-reducing skill set, especially for women and femme identified people of any gender – many of whom often struggle to simply and clearly say “no”. this workshop will take you through a series of exercises to help you better understand and articulate your boundaries, both with your loved ones and those who seek to violate you.

i’ve chosen the wild rose as the images for this workshop because i believe this plant carries a valuable medicine when it comes to boundaries and protection. roses can only be as soft, loving and gentle as they are because they have thorns to protect them. boundaries allow for vulnerability and can help facilitate connection and well being. in this learning space we will work with this medicine, as well as with yarrow flowers, as we move through the tenuous and powerful skill of gracefully, lovingly and fiercely setting boundaries. 

this workshop is open to all folks who identify as women or femmes.

the cost is $10 to $20 sliding scale with no-one turned away for lack of funds. folks with greater financial access are encouraged to donate generously, to facilitate the participation of those without financial access. i’m also very open to trades for food and medicine making supplies. ultimately it’s more important to me that folks take part in the work, than i get paid by each participant. that being said, i do need some cash to flow towards this work, in order to keep it sustainable. ♥

i come to this work after years of learning how to set boundaries. boundaries are a skillset i am always learning, adjusting and growing. i’m not an expert, but i have taught assertiveness workshop in hundreds of school across the lower mainland with Anita Robert’s Safeteen program. i also recently took part in Pavini Moray’s boundary class for queer and lesbian couples. this workshop is inspired by both of these teachers, various plant allies, as well as a unique mix of my own learnings and facilitation offerings.

yarrow-green